I’ve been really social lately. I was on stage crew for my school’s annual musical. The experience was great. I got to know some of my friends even more, and even made some new ones. It’s a tradition to go to Shari’s after every performance night. We played cheesy high school social games. 10 fingers, truth or double truth, and more. I got to know people quite well. But at the same time, I knew this wouldn’t last. Eventually I would go back to spending my days boarded up in my room, playing video games and eating junk food. I wasn’t social at all growing up; I spent my summers just playing video games and watching television. It wasn’t a bad life, but it wasn’t my first choice.
Growing up in elementary school, I had it pretty bad. No kid wanted to interact with me. I was known as “that” fat kid. Whenever I tried to talk to someone, the kids would run yelling
“ew Randy germs”.
I just grew used to it and isolated myself. But deep inside I wanted a friend. This behavior from the kids continued throughout fifth and sixth grade year. Eventually, something happened. Either I changed, or the kids became more mature. I started to make friendships and I could talk to people at school. But I still isolated myself outside of school. In high school, I got involved in the drama productions and I started to make friends. Now I have tons of friends in school and some best friends I hang out with outside of school.
I’ve had a lot of my friends and people at my school tell me I’m always kind and positive.
While I do believe that; they don’t know me at my house. I try to make plans to spend time with my friends and socialize; but they either never respond, are busy, or change plans at the last minute. I can’t blame them, it’s not their fault. Life happens, and plans change. But it seems that everytime I try to make plans, they always fall through. So why try? So sometimes I just don’t. If I’m so kind and positive. Why wouldn’t my friends want to spend time with me, and make the plans themselves. I tend to plan things; My friends and I will talk about doing something, and I’m usually the one that plans it and puts it into action. I don’t like doing things unorganized. People can get confused if you don’t make things clear or plan them out. But it would just be nice once in a blue moon to have someone say.
“Hey Randy, would you want to hang out sometime tomorrow?”
It sounds so simple, but I’m sure no one has asked me to hang out. I’m always the one that has to make the offer.
So even though I’ve been socializing with my school friends; It won’t last. We will get back into our lives and soon enough they will forget about asking me if I’m available to hang out.
People have their own lives, but I just wish that they would include me every once in awhile.
